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Monday, December 12, 2011

I Heart Tebowing

Before we get started here, I just want to say that if you're reading this blog, please do the two following things:
1) Comment on it.
2) Pass it on to your Mother, Father, and just about anyone that knows how to read.
3) Facebook and Twitter the living hell out of this blog. Your word is the most important!


With that said, not only is it the Holiday season, but it's the season to take part and witness ridiculous Facebook arguments about Christmas and whatever the hell people believe in. People who don't celebrate Christmas are going the, "I believe in blablbla and this country should be open to diversity!" route, and those who celebrate Christmas are going to pull the same old, "this is MY country!" schtick. Regardless of how many of arguments there are over these statuses, I think I speak for most when I say that they're all stupid. As someone who doesn't have a commitment to one particular faith I see it like this; If you're celebrating Christmas, enjoy it and spread the Christmas spirit, but don't shun all other faiths and their beliefs just because it's time to celebrate a 2000+ year old baby's birthday. As for people of other faiths and beliefs, (especially immigrants) I ask similar things of you. Celebrate whatever your beliefs are but don't ruin the party for everyone else. If you're one of those people who goes out of their way to ruin another festive time for someone with the whole, "Hey! You can't call that a Christmas tree! It's a f**king Holiday Tree!" or some other childish crap, shame on your candy ass! (Or candy-cane ass, for those celebrating Christmas!)

What I'd basically like say is Happy everything, everyone! Now excuse me while I put on my Dashiki, light my Menorah candle, and wrap Christmas presents!

Moving onto more important matters, it's Tebow time. Pretty amazing what he's been doing lately. I mean, he's not THAT great of a Quarterback. I wouldn't even go as far as saying he's that good either. Facts are facts though, he just does what needs to be done to win, when it needs to be done. Yes, he's a "Warrior of God" and he has a huge heart when it comes to competition, and I love how he's got his entire team believing in themselves, because that's exactly the kind of spirit that professional sports needs more of. Although the Broncos are winning and doing it with thrill and excitement, I'm not completely ready to jump on the Tebow bandwagon yet, and for good reason. Let's be realistic here for a moment, folks. Tim Tebow lacks the smallest (but most important!) mechanics that a NFL Quarterback should possess, he already doesn't have any individual skills or abilities (unless if you want to count heart as an ability, because his 'Heart' rating on Madden would be 100, giving him an overall player rating of 60) that set him apart from other athletes, and at this moment he's just not equipped to be an efficient NFL Quarterback.

I pose to you, these questions two:

1)Do I see him getting better in the future?
2)Will he have a long and successful career?

The answer to these questions hinges on the results of what he does between now and the beginning of next season. In order to get better in the future he needs to do more than just get in-game experience, because this season is giving him plenty. He needs to develop the proper mechanics such as releasing the ball quicker but more accurately, as well as learning how to throw inside the pocket. Where is he going to develop the skills/mechanics you ask? WWTTD? (What Would Tim Tebow Do?) It's quite simple, for the answer lies in the, "Book of Iverson".
(Chapter 3; Verse 1-however many times he says the word 'practice'...26...I think.)

                                 THE POWER OF IVERSON (through the magic of Tebow!) COMPELS YOU!    

Borrowing a line from GLAAD (I'm in trouble), lesbehonest and admit that half the snaps Timmy Tebow takes involve one of the following:
1) Running around and either making a last second pass
2) Dumping the ball to Willis McGahee, (formerly Knowshon Moreno until Tebow sent him to the IR) who either gets smashed or uses Tebow's, "God's Warrior" powers to land a big gain.
3) A gain of 6 yards (resulting in a 3rd & 10)
                                If he spent as much time developing his skills as he does praying...


Like his teammates do, I believe that Tim Tebow can be a success story and actually be called a NFL Quarterback, just not this year. It's even hard for me to say that he'll do it next year.  If he just dedicates his time to becoming a REAL pro, rather than going on a Tequila diet (I'm looking at you, Lendale White) or a Lazy diet (Stop reading this and get your ass back in shape, Jamarcus Russell!) the answers to both questions I posed at the beginning will all be, "YES" in big and intense strobe lights, because gigantic strobe lights and all that other flashy lights s***gets me more excited than the time Eddie Guerrero beat Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title @ No Way Out '04. (Watch that match, it'll blow your mind.)

                                           One of my fondest memories as a wrestling fan ever. RIP Eddie.

I'm happy to see Tim Tebow doing well right now and I hope the guy keeps winning and doing what he does. The guy has been criticized from the very moment he was drafted and there's almost nothing I love to see more in sports, than an athlete who has an entire team and an entire city behind his back, when he was passed up by everyone else simply because nobody thought he'd ever amount to anything significant. I give kudos to John Elway for throwing Timmy into the fire because it's paying off so far and as long as Tebow works and develops those skills I talked about, it's going to pay even bigger dividends for Denver. Now that I think about it, if I'm Tim Tebow and I see John Elway suiting up to teach me in practice...

Saturday, December 10, 2011

A Mixed Bag of Sorts

Welcome to, "Failure To Communicate". A blog about two guys who have a passion for sports, entertainment, "professional" wrestling, and just about anything that requires me to use the least amount of brain power possible. Right off the bat I want to encourage anyone who reads this blog to subscribe, comment, and pass it around to your friends or whoever you might think is interested. These are the things that'll keep the blog running! Matt Philips is my partner in crime and he'll be posting every so often (or whenever he hears about someone liking Tim Tebow!).

To start, I want to say WELCOME BACK NBA. I think I speak for the majority of Basketball fans when I say hooooooo-leeeeee s**t did we miss you. You went out of our lives last summer and came back this winter with some major changes, some for the better and some for the worse. You still have some ugly features about you (I'm looking at you, David Stern...Billy Hunter...) but you haven't changed who you are and that's why we're happy to have you back! Now that you're back, there's something we really want to tell you. GET BACK TO WORK AND F**KING ENTERTAIN US. Christmas day isn't going to prepare itself...

In all seriousness, I'm just happy to see that the NBA back and I'm even more excited to see that the free agency/trade period is already in full swing. 

This brings me to my latest issue. Mr. Dwight David Howard of the Orlando Magic. I'm a fan of Dwight and his freakish athleticism. And his size. And his defense. And his gigantic physique (this list could go on and on...). But there's just one thing I'm not a fan of when it comes to Dwight and it's this one bad thing that outweighs everything that I like about him. HIS F**KING OBSESSION WITH TRYING TO BE SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. It's the constant Superman references. Or the over-doing of trying to be quotable. Most recently, it's his desire to be traded to the Lakers! To me, Dwight is just trying to imitate everything Shaq has done and probably won't achieve any of what Shaq earned. If I'm Magic GM Otis Smith, I'm looking to trade Howard ASAP, because there is no way in hell that Howard is staying in Orlando. 

Not only is there talk of Howard going to L.A, but now you've got Chris Paul's apparent 'imminent' trade to the Lakers. Now, most people probably look at the Lakers and are making this equation:
   Kobe (Bean!)
   CP3 (Chris Paul)
Imitation Superman (Dwight)
=OMGCHAMPIONSHIPSFOREVERLETSBEDOUCHEBAGSBECAUSEWE'RELAKERFANS!

But that's not going to happen. Outside of those three, who else do they really have? Metta World Peace (formerly, Ron Artest) is an offensive liability, Fisher is as close to done as you can be. Shannon Brown has jetted off to Phoenix, and there's no way in hell that the Lakers are going to get BOTH CP3 and Imitation Superman, while retaining Lamar Odom, Andrew Bynum, and Pau Gasol. As sad as it is to admit it, I don't see Kobe winning another title. I don't even see Garnett, Pierce, and Jesus Shuttlesworth winning another one together. 

Sorry for drifting off. Let's go back to Dwight's obsession with Shaq. If he wants to imitate Shaq and his career, so be it. But no matter what, he better not EVER do anything like this:


OR this:


AND HE ESPECIALLY BETTER NEVER DO THIS:


You know what I just realized? This makes me miss Shaq more than it makes me hate Dwight Howard's imitation of him.

With that said, this wraps up the very first, "Failure to Communicate" blog. Expect to see many more entries and be on the lookout for Matt when he makes his F2C debut. Like I mentioned at the beginning of the blog, please subscribe, comment, and pass this blog on to anyone and everyone you see. More importantly, give us feedback and let us know how we're doing! These things are vital to this blog's success.

Until next time, "Go f**k yourself San Diego!"